The Difference

While waiting for Mr. Tire to finish with the emissions and state inspections on my car the other day, I watched a bit of The Morning Show with what're-their-names. The topic of the show was "Monogamy: Can we really remain faithful?" The first four people they had with them were a sex therapist, the author of...some book for men about steps to a happy marriage, a guy whose wife agreed for him to go to a prostitute every now and then, and...I didn't hear what the last woman was. I'm not gonna go into what all everybody said (I couldn't hear very well anyway), but I will tell you that the last woman was steadfastly against what the third man was doing and I was very proud of her :-). Anyway, the question to the therapist was, "Is monogamy really possible?" She replied, "I would say that it's possible, but not probable." I said, "She's never experienced the power God." I wanted to add, "Without God." to her statement. Because in that, she was right.

The Rose

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower,
And you, it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
It's the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that, with the sun's love,
In the spring becomes the rose.


I think this is the song Napoleon Dynamite makes fun of this song -- another reason I don't like it. Because I like this song. Maybe because it portrays my personality -- it just seems an observer sort of person wrote it. And even though there was that short period of time where I became bitter and cynical towards mankind as a whole, ultimately before and ever since that time I hold steadfastly to the belief that there is so much more to life and love and God -- everyone is just tired of looking. People are jaded. We do unto others as others have done unto us and what goes around comes around. It's hard to take that first step to decide you aren't going to treat others as you have been treated. This is the only way to turn anything around. And the strength for this comes from God alone.

You Raise Me Up

...to more than I can be.

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,

for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my weaknesses

That the power of God may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in weakness, in reproaches,

in needs, in persecutions, in distresses for Christs' sake.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:9,10

Indeed. And I am in that time right now. I knew this time would come -- Satan's not going to just sit around and let me remain content in the Lord. Though God stays his hand at times to give me rest, He will continue to let the devil test me -- because He knows that His grace is sufficient for me to make it through.

For the past few days I've been feeling extremely lonely -- suddenly separated from everyone I once felt connected to. It partially has something to do with working so closely with a friend who now has a boyfriend and talks about him, talks to him, and is just overall happier than even she thought she would be. But I am so happy for her, and it's fun watching her glow :-). That and I haven't felt like I really belong anywhere right now. Like, my time is so evenly split between places that it's like I just don't belong anymore. It's also been hard to really find quiet times. I'm gonna really try and make it a point to indulge in those more, because they are such a blessing and resting place for my soul.

It also has to do with feeling like this waiting won't ever change. I've been waiting, waiting, waiting because there's nothing else I really can do. I've tried running away, tried pretending that God had just changed His mind. That didn't work, the only thing that did was take me farther away from my only constant Companion. I keep looking for things to do, but I don't want to do something out of God's will and make things worse than they already are. I can't see how things will ever change, but I know God is powerful enough, He has a will and He has a way, and I'm not to try and take over His job of running the world.

God, I want to leave my worries in the bag -- which is to say: in Your hands. I believe that You are strong enough, I believe that You are powerful enough to make Your prophecy come true, I will not take it back into my own hands. May I love You with all my heart, soul, and mind.

~Love,

Me.

Speaking of the devil,

Look who just walked in.

He knows just where to find me,

Here we go again.

I can tell he's gonna ask me to dance,

But that's not as far as he wants to go.

I need ten thousand angels

To help me tell him, "No!"

Lead me not into temptation,

Father help me to be strong.

I can fight all that I'm feeling,

But I can't do it alone;

Help me break this spell that I'm under

Guide my feet and hold me tight.

I need ten thousand angels

Watching over me tonight.

It's time to face my weakness,

Look him in the eye.

Lord, You know it won't be easy,

But I've just gotta try.

I can't let myself get lost in his arms,

That's how I got my heart broke before;

I need ten thousand angels

To walk me out the door

Lead me not into temptation,

Father, help me to be strong.

I can't fight all that I'm feeling,

But I can't do it alone.

Help me break this spell that I'm under,

Guide my feet and hold me tight,

I need ten thousand angels

Watching over me tonight.

-Ten Thousand Angels by Mindy McCready

What do you think of...

...when you hear, "The power of God"?

I googled me

So, from a facebook note I got a funny idea: google myself. So I typed in my name and clicked "I'm feeling lucky" to see what would happen. It took me immediately to a Massachusettes Catholic school website. The Principle is Sister Marie Baldi. So I decided to post it here, just because I found it interesting and actually even somewhat encouraging that someone in Milton, MA who has my name is doing amazing things for the glory of God.

"When Sister Marie Baldi went to Catholic schools in New York City in the late 1950’s and 60’s, all the teachers were sisters. When she started teaching at a Catholic elementary school in East Harlem in 1974, about half the teachers were sisters.Now, as principal of St. Michael’s School in Fall River, MA, she is the only sister there, and one of less than a dozen remaining in the Diocese of Fall River’s Catholic schools. It hasn’t dampened her enthusiasm.“As a child, I loved school. I used to go home and play school and teach my younger brothers, sisters and cousins. I enjoyed it,” she said. “I still do. I look forward to coming every single day.”The Holy Union Sisters who taught her in elementary school made an impression that lasted.“They were kind. You could see that they gave so much of themselves to their students. We were important to them. And that’s what I want to do for my students. I know every one of my students by name. And they know me,” she said.They don’t necessarily know what she’s about, though. For most students, seeing someone who has made a lifelong commitment to religious life is not only beyond their understanding, it’s beyond their experience. But Sister Marie tries to make her calling connect.“Last year I renewed my vows at one of the Masses with the students, just so they would know what religious life is about,” she said.Holy Union Sisters like Sister Marie renew their vows each year on March 25, the Feast of the Annunciation of the Lord, when Mary said “yes” to God’s request that she be the mother of God. Last March, Sister Marie renewed her vows at a 10 a.m. weekday mass at St. Michael’s Church, next door to the school.Sister Marie emphasized how much she values the quality and commitment of the lay teachers on her staff who work for low pay. “Our lay teachers are so dedicated to Catholic education. If you’re in a Catholic school, you have to be dedicated to what you’re doing,” she said.But she noted that being a woman religious allows more of a single-mindedness. “My religious commitment frees me to be able to do so many things and give so much time to my ministry.” "

This Morning Holds a Blessing

So, I got a new phone. And somewhere between Wednesday, when I first got the phone, and today (most likely sometime in the span of yesterday, but that's not positive), someone apparently got a hold of it and wrote something in my Notepad. It's kind of amazing that I actually found it, because I wouldn't think to use the Notepad very often. But last night I forgot my notebook and pen at the Leesburg hangout house, so when Jeff said something this morning that I wanted to write down, I took out my phone and set about finding the Notepad. What I saw was this:

Marie is amazing. Hopefu...

Confused, I opened the note to see the whole thing. This is what it said:

Marie is amazing.

Hopefully she never thinks otherwise.

I have no idea who wrote it there, but you can imagine, my mouth was hanging open -- it's just not something you expect to see when you open up your Notepad! I almost teared up, I was so touched.

And there's no way for me to know how it got there (haha, unless the phone service just automatically puts it there, I don't know if that's possible or not), because my phone passed through many hands yesterday.

Some random quotes I really like:

"We worry about tomorrow then it slips away; we talk about forever but we've only got today." -The Days Go By (Keith Urban)

"I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold." -Who Says You Can't go Back? (Sugarland)

"Are those yours?" -Devin, referring to the sunglasses on my head

"Yes."

*Devin says with attitude* "Those don't even fit me! They're too small for my head."

Me- "Thanks Devin."

"God, I've let you down so many times." -Person

"No, you were never holding Me up." -God

"You look in the mirror and you see junk. If you're junk, what does that say about Me? I don't make time to make junk." -God

"Look in your back pocket." -God

"God!" -Person

"What?" -God

"I...I was just saying, God, I'll do that right now." -Person

"No you weren't, you just used My name in vain." -God

"It's a saying, it's just a name!" -Person

"No, it's not just a name; it's a Name above all names." -God

What are you going to do with what you know? What is holding you back from doing all you can for God?

Just some things to think about from today. So, here at last is my monthly entry ;-). Maybe, if I can find time and topic, I'll write another one.