It's a beautiful day!

Wow, I've been noticing that when the sun shines at this time of year, it's different from during the summer. It is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen! It makes everything look beautiful with it -- and all the cars look clean and shiny, even the old dirty ones. And it's not scorching hot, it's sunny with a slightly cool breeze. It's wonderful. I like rainy days, too, besides the fact that it bothers my head, but it's not raining, so I'll rave about that some other time :-)

You know, it's really hard to think of titles for these things, especially when they're just random "I feel like unloading myself" things anyway. Unfortunately for you all (well, I suppose that remains to be known), when big things happen, I feel like there's too much to type, so you don't get to read about it. Things, like, my birthday, going to Winchester, going to the beach, going hiking...that may or may not be it. Well...that's within the past three weeks. Hm...maybe I should write about those, 'cause then it would be easy to think of titles...you know, profound things like, "My Birthday," or "Journey to Winchester," or "The Beach," or "Hiking." Bet you all would wonder what in the world those entries were about, now wouldn't you? Hm...goals for the next week: write those entries so that the one or two people who care and don't see you so you can tell them all about it and show off the wonderful hiking souveniers to actually get a taste of what exciting things are going on in your life, get that taste of what exciting things are going on in your life.

Tonight we had four new patients, two of them Atlast patients (lots of paperwork for both ends), in the space of...2 and 1/2 hours. So we closed 45 minutes late tonight.

What do you do?

I don't know anything.

Just thought I'd let everybody know that so that when my world doesn't collapse on top of me, we'll know there's a God holding everything together, if we don't already.

So, I told my boss I wanted to "do Arbonne" and would need to lose some hours in order to do so. Because, you see, he's had such a bad experience with such things (and when it ruins relationships in the office and such, you can't blame him) that he doesn't want this kind of thing in the office. I'm allowed to mention Arbonne, even sell people stuff if they ask for something. But as for finding those who also want a part in the business...yeah, 'nuf said.

So now he's trying to find someone to completely fill my shoes -- as in, I may not have the choice of working part-time at all, it may end up that I have to choose all or nothing.

I don't want that. And I don't feel God leading me to that -- neither does my boss, he doesn't have peace when he prays about it. But if I stayed, I'd be right where I am right now. I mean, I really do love working at the office, but...I don't know...I really feel led to go part-time. You know, work at the known busy hours. Maybe I just wish there were more business at the office so I had more to do? Maybe it's my short attention span and I don't want to work at the same job all the time? Maybe I'm just letting myself be dissatisfied instead of seeking the Lord to fullfill me where I am. Maybe I just feel so pressured to make a business out of Arbonne that I just want to say, "Ok, fine, I'll do it! Now leave me alone!" Or maybe the vision in my head is what the Lord wants to happen. Maybe, though my boss may not see how it would work this way, God is going to bring someone who only needs a part-time job and would be perfect for whatever position the Lord wants me to give up, whether training there (not training as a whole, just not specifically as a trainer at the office; I have the skills, I'm not going to let them go to waste, I just might not use them as everybody else thinks I should), or assistant secretary. Or maybe it's God's way of getting me out of this job. That thought makes me sad.

*sighs* So, as you can see, I don't know anything. I've got these crazy dreams, but I feel like it's just me an' God and no one else. I feel like, though I have many friends and family who care about me, there's no one who's really a part of my life besides God. But these wild and crazy dreams involve people...I don't know. I don't know if I'm even thinking realistically. What if I'm just living in a constant fantasy world, and I need to get out and grow up? Could you all pray for me? Pray for clarity, that I would know what to do? That God would reveal what His say is in this? That I would follow His will above mine and everyone else's.