A Struggler's Journey

I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it...

Wouldn't you?

So what happens now?

(Another suitcase in another hall)

So what happens now?

(Take your picture off another wall)

Where am I going to?

(You'll get by, you always have before)

Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care

That I'm immune to gloom

That I'm hard through and through

But every time it matters all my words desert me

So anyone can hurt me...

And they do

Call in three months time and I'll be fine, I know

....Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow

I won't remember all the names and places of each sad occasion

But that's no consolation...

Here and now

So what happens now?

So what happens now?

Where am I going to?

Where am I going to?

I can tell he's gonna ask me to dance
But that's not as far as he wants to go
I need ten thousand angels
To help me tell him "NO!"

Lead me not into temptation

Father, help me to be strong

I can fight all that I'm feeling

But I can't do it alone

Help me break this spell that I'm under

Guide my feet and hold me tight

I need ten thousand angels

Watching over me tonight

It's time to face my weakness...

Lord knows it won't be easy

But I've just gotta try...

I need ten thousand angels

To walk me out the door.

Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough

But I'll stand back up.

Well tonight I'm gonna be

The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh

I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else

Believe in me, even if someone can't see

The stronger woman in me

I'm gonna be my own best friend

Stick with me 'til the end

Won't lose myself again, never, no

'Cause there's a stronger woman

Stronger woman

This is me: packing up my bags

And this is me, heading for the door

And this is me, the best you ever had

I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else

Believe in me, even if someone can't see

The stronger woman in me

I'm gonna be my own best friend

Stick with me 'til the end

Won't lose myself again, never, no

'Cause there's a stronger woman

Stronger woman in me.

Jesus, give me the power to overcome. Amen.

Late Night Pondering

What does one say to someone a year after losing their mom? A hug would tell her better how I'm thinking of her and here to offer what comfort, if any, I can. But then again, something written can be looked at over and over in time of need. But what would she want to look at if the pain gets too great? What would she need to hear? What would, even if it didn't give you immediate consolation, would at least remind of the God's strength to help her hang on?

Unfortunately I need to think of something quick. Not because I have to, but because I want to add another person to those who care about her, and to let her know it. A friend is gathering notes/verses etc., and I need to mail mine in tomorrow to make sure as best I can that it will be there by Wednesday.

So I ponder.