Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

I have run-ins and debates with the devil from time to time, and it is in those times that I learn more of what I know and what I don't know. Today I had one of those discussions.

There may be too much information for me to even get through, but I needed to try and get it down somewhere and I can type faster than I can write. 

It all started this morning after watching an episode of Criminal Minds before listening to a sermon by D.R. Carlson entitled Fingerprints of the Father (www.restonbible.org --> resources --> sermons. June 20, 2010 sermon).

This particular episode (and the reason I watched it), is because the trigger for this serial killer had something to do with his broken home. He started out with a normal, happy family life, but then the mother disappeared (from drawings) for some reason, and then his father struggled to make ends meet, possibly to the neglect of the boy, and the boy withdrew. They found a stack of porn magazines, many of them old, and the BAU team figured it likely that this killer (or unsub) had gotten them from his father. This is a very common theme in Criminal Minds. There is always a trigger for the killers, and it is most often tied to one or both of the parents, or parental figures.

The sermon's theme phrase was, "All children bear the fingerprints of their father -- good, bad, or indifferent." D.R. shared a story about an annoying habit of his father's: his father would fill his coffee cup to the brim, so that he couldn't tip it back or it would spill all over him. So he would pick the mug straight up, and lean forward and slurp the first sip. This drove D.R. nuts...Until one day, D.R. was standing in his kitchen....with a mug of coffee -- filled to the brim...Yep, you guessed it -- he couldn't tip it back or it would spill all over him, so he picked it straight up and slurped the first sip. He started laughing, wondering when, why and how he had started such an annoying habit. It was then that he realized that even the smallest things about his father had been imprinted on his life.

This all got me to thinking about two things: the impact of my father on me, and of John 8:44 --

"You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it."

My, how I see the fingerprint of the devil...everywhere I look. One particular issue that came up, was the passage where Paul said he did not permit women to speak in church. Too little time to explain how that came up, but it did, and I'm glad it did -- it gave me a chance to stand up to the snake. This question I asked, "Why not?" I was answered, "Because, you're a woman," and I responded, "That's not good enough." And before a judgmental reprimand could be given of, "Who are you to question the Bible," I continued, "I don't believe that's the answer. Because that is right up there with, 'Because I'm your mom/dad/boss,' and 'Because I said so.' 

'Because I'm a woman,' tells me that a woman isn't much of anything, right about on the same level as a dishrag. It tells me that after God created man, He "tried to do better the second time around"...and failed. It tells me I am a mistake, that man was made in the likeness of God and I am of no more importance than an animal. It tells me that the rapists and women abusers out there, are doing nothing wrong. And none of that is true.

Then, another portion of that same section of verses, a verse that friend had used as an explanation before, came to my mind. "Man was created first, and then woman." This had never settled right before, either, until today. I was just about to get upset at that answer as well, when all of a sudden I remembered every time I had tried to explain to my youngest brother, Devin, that since April and Vincent are older, it means that he needs to listen to them, whether he likes it or not. 

The "older sibling" role was supposed to be a good thing. Because we were meant to care about each other's well-being. We're not older siblings so we can have power or authority to boss someone around to cater to our every whim. We are older siblings in order to watch out for the younger, and as a side-effect we have some authority. The, "because they're older" phrase is so hated because most older siblings accept all the power with none of the responsibility. The younger get bossed and pushed around, neglected, mocked, treated as though they are less of a person because their age is lower.

The role for men is the same. They are the older sibling. As such, they were created to be protectors and role models. When I'm in trouble, I'm supposed to be able to see a man and think, "Here comes a hero, everything will be alright." Yet if my car breaks down on the road, particularly if it's after dark, or if it's on a seldom-used back road, and a man approaches offering to help...what am I thinking? I am making note of every possible way I could escape if this guy turns out to be dangerous. Women are advised to learn karate, tae kwan do, or at least some basic defensive techniques because the protectors are the attackers. We must save ourselves from the "safe zone".

A lot of the crap that women believe about themselves is because some older brother abused his authority and shirked his responsibility, and no other older brother stepped in to defend her. Each of us is responsible for our own decisions, but unfortunately the decisions of some leave a lot of extra work for the rest to pick up. This is why one kind word from an older brother who knows his position and cares is not enough to make a woman believe in herself. This is why it often takes a lot longer to reverse the damage done. This is why a woman needs men to tell her her worth, her gifts, her talents. Because an older brother's opinion is held in higher regard than a neighbor's or sibling's of the same age. A younger sibling needs and wants to know that they are protected, that there's someone older they can trust, and likewise, an older sibling needs and wants to know that their younger sibling looks up to them, trusts them, and respects them.

Be patient, big brothers, the damage is great, and the war wages on until the end. Just know that there is an end, even when you can't see it. Giving up tells your little sisters that you agree with the enemy, and that he can have them. There is One greater, Who is willing and able to provide all the perseverance and strength that you will need to press on until the victory.

Sisters, be patient, the damage is great, and the war wages on until the end. Just know that there is an end, even when you can't see it. Giving up tells your brothers that they might as well be the enemy, and that you're always going to make them pay for the wounds inflicted by the devil. There is One greater, Who is willing and able to provide all the perseverance and strength that you will need to press on until the victory.

Give grace. Every person will fail you, only God never will, and everyone needs to know that someone loves them so much, that nothing they do will ever change that.

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved,

loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

~Victor Hugo~

My Praise Song

The sun shining down on me
How restful a feeling it brings
All my worries melt far, far away
And I receive the strength
To make it through another day

And praise the Lord for the sun and its warmth
Praise the Lord for the love He sends forth
And the grace to smile again today
This grace, this love 
I receive for believing in His Son
Praise the Lord

The rain splatt'ring everywhere
Soaking the streets, the grass, my hair
I spread my arms and choose to dance
To grin and twirl, spin and splash
Not willing to miss this chance

To praise the Lord for the rain falling down
Praise the Lord for the peace that I have found
And the joy to smile again today
This joy, this peace
I receive for believing in His Son
Praise the Lord

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord
This grace, this love
I receive for believing
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord
This joy, this peace
I receive for believing in His Son
Praise the Lord

Guilty of Them All

"At any point in time and under the 'right' circumstances, every person is capable of committing every sin."

You've heard what they say, "Pride comes before a fall," or, as it was written in Destiny's Bible, "Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall."

And still, she never saw it coming. She believed that mystical List of Impossibilities contained this happening among its other items, and look what had come about!

She thought herself incapable of falling in love with anyone else. Against every good will she had though, and now she found herself in need of letting go. Three years ago, she should have let go.

It was true, what they said, about the harder it gets to let go the longer you are with someone. Especially when it seems that no one else in the world knows you so well as they. When everything seems right, except one thing....God's will.

She had finally fallen in love with someone else, like everyone had told her she should, and what happened? The ring on her left hand meant nothing anymore -- the promise had been broken. And the pain showed no signs of subsiding.

Destiny slipped the promise ring from her finger and read the inscription for the hundredth time. "TLW" what does it mean? Failure. 

That familiar numb feeling returned. "Happiness" was nothing but a memory. "Joy" still came only by the grace of God, and for some unsearchable reason -- the only reason she still held on at all...or maybe she wasn't still holding on, maybe He was one who wasn't letting go.

Ah, Look at all the Lonely People

In the midst of my depression, I couldn't see past my own pain. My own roommate was struggling right in front of me, and I didn't see it. After speaking with my friend Scott and writing my last blog, it opened my eyes to what was going on around me. I may be hurting, I may be lonely, I may be depressed, but I am not the only one suffering this way. We aren't even the only two suffering this way.

There is a lot of soul-searching going on in our young adults' community right now: we're starting to realize what things are missing in our weekly meeting; we have about 5 new leadership teams in place, and each is doing their part to focus on their area of the ministry in order to strengthen it. It's hard, since we're basically starting with the foundation, and I can see that without prayer and seeking the Lord how it could go awry. Each team needs to remember to think of the other teams as well as their own in order that we continue moving forward, instead of all this turning into one big competition on which team can accomplish the most. I'm on the Hospitality team, and from our meetings alone, we're seeing just how much we have to catch up on, with the budget pretty much "limited" to our pockets.

So, Angela and I met together last night to pray before going to bed. It's been too long since I've prayed with someone, and it was very refreshing and exhilarating. In addition to seeing what God will do within and through our group, I also look forward to seeing how God will work in and through us each individually; my own quest continues for that additional part-time or full-time job, and I continue to fall on my face before my God -- not only to thank Him for how He has provided for me thus far, but also because I don't know where some money is going to come from this month. I only hope that when I have that other part time job, that I continue to realize just Who is providing that income, and that He will be glorified in and through all the work I do.