Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

I have run-ins and debates with the devil from time to time, and it is in those times that I learn more of what I know and what I don't know. Today I had one of those discussions.

There may be too much information for me to even get through, but I needed to try and get it down somewhere and I can type faster than I can write. 

It all started this morning after watching an episode of Criminal Minds before listening to a sermon by D.R. Carlson entitled Fingerprints of the Father (www.restonbible.org --> resources --> sermons. June 20, 2010 sermon).

This particular episode (and the reason I watched it), is because the trigger for this serial killer had something to do with his broken home. He started out with a normal, happy family life, but then the mother disappeared (from drawings) for some reason, and then his father struggled to make ends meet, possibly to the neglect of the boy, and the boy withdrew. They found a stack of porn magazines, many of them old, and the BAU team figured it likely that this killer (or unsub) had gotten them from his father. This is a very common theme in Criminal Minds. There is always a trigger for the killers, and it is most often tied to one or both of the parents, or parental figures.

The sermon's theme phrase was, "All children bear the fingerprints of their father -- good, bad, or indifferent." D.R. shared a story about an annoying habit of his father's: his father would fill his coffee cup to the brim, so that he couldn't tip it back or it would spill all over him. So he would pick the mug straight up, and lean forward and slurp the first sip. This drove D.R. nuts...Until one day, D.R. was standing in his kitchen....with a mug of coffee -- filled to the brim...Yep, you guessed it -- he couldn't tip it back or it would spill all over him, so he picked it straight up and slurped the first sip. He started laughing, wondering when, why and how he had started such an annoying habit. It was then that he realized that even the smallest things about his father had been imprinted on his life.

This all got me to thinking about two things: the impact of my father on me, and of John 8:44 --

"You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it."

My, how I see the fingerprint of the devil...everywhere I look. One particular issue that came up, was the passage where Paul said he did not permit women to speak in church. Too little time to explain how that came up, but it did, and I'm glad it did -- it gave me a chance to stand up to the snake. This question I asked, "Why not?" I was answered, "Because, you're a woman," and I responded, "That's not good enough." And before a judgmental reprimand could be given of, "Who are you to question the Bible," I continued, "I don't believe that's the answer. Because that is right up there with, 'Because I'm your mom/dad/boss,' and 'Because I said so.' 

'Because I'm a woman,' tells me that a woman isn't much of anything, right about on the same level as a dishrag. It tells me that after God created man, He "tried to do better the second time around"...and failed. It tells me I am a mistake, that man was made in the likeness of God and I am of no more importance than an animal. It tells me that the rapists and women abusers out there, are doing nothing wrong. And none of that is true.

Then, another portion of that same section of verses, a verse that friend had used as an explanation before, came to my mind. "Man was created first, and then woman." This had never settled right before, either, until today. I was just about to get upset at that answer as well, when all of a sudden I remembered every time I had tried to explain to my youngest brother, Devin, that since April and Vincent are older, it means that he needs to listen to them, whether he likes it or not. 

The "older sibling" role was supposed to be a good thing. Because we were meant to care about each other's well-being. We're not older siblings so we can have power or authority to boss someone around to cater to our every whim. We are older siblings in order to watch out for the younger, and as a side-effect we have some authority. The, "because they're older" phrase is so hated because most older siblings accept all the power with none of the responsibility. The younger get bossed and pushed around, neglected, mocked, treated as though they are less of a person because their age is lower.

The role for men is the same. They are the older sibling. As such, they were created to be protectors and role models. When I'm in trouble, I'm supposed to be able to see a man and think, "Here comes a hero, everything will be alright." Yet if my car breaks down on the road, particularly if it's after dark, or if it's on a seldom-used back road, and a man approaches offering to help...what am I thinking? I am making note of every possible way I could escape if this guy turns out to be dangerous. Women are advised to learn karate, tae kwan do, or at least some basic defensive techniques because the protectors are the attackers. We must save ourselves from the "safe zone".

A lot of the crap that women believe about themselves is because some older brother abused his authority and shirked his responsibility, and no other older brother stepped in to defend her. Each of us is responsible for our own decisions, but unfortunately the decisions of some leave a lot of extra work for the rest to pick up. This is why one kind word from an older brother who knows his position and cares is not enough to make a woman believe in herself. This is why it often takes a lot longer to reverse the damage done. This is why a woman needs men to tell her her worth, her gifts, her talents. Because an older brother's opinion is held in higher regard than a neighbor's or sibling's of the same age. A younger sibling needs and wants to know that they are protected, that there's someone older they can trust, and likewise, an older sibling needs and wants to know that their younger sibling looks up to them, trusts them, and respects them.

Be patient, big brothers, the damage is great, and the war wages on until the end. Just know that there is an end, even when you can't see it. Giving up tells your little sisters that you agree with the enemy, and that he can have them. There is One greater, Who is willing and able to provide all the perseverance and strength that you will need to press on until the victory.

Sisters, be patient, the damage is great, and the war wages on until the end. Just know that there is an end, even when you can't see it. Giving up tells your brothers that they might as well be the enemy, and that you're always going to make them pay for the wounds inflicted by the devil. There is One greater, Who is willing and able to provide all the perseverance and strength that you will need to press on until the victory.

Give grace. Every person will fail you, only God never will, and everyone needs to know that someone loves them so much, that nothing they do will ever change that.

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved,

loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

~Victor Hugo~