Arm's Distance

At my church's young adults gathering, we watched a video about dating, and then went over some discussion questions with the people at our tables. One of them was, "How do you view the whole concept of dating and what most influenced your views?"

This picture came to my mind: Jr. high small group one Wednesday night, our leaders discussed with us the whole dating/relationship world (two women lead our group). They had brought in a chocolate cake with a piece missing. They explained that every time you're intimate with a guy, you give a piece of yourself to him. Then, when you finally get married, what your husband gets is just a piece of your heart, instead of the whole thing. You wouldn't bring someone a partially eaten chocolate cake for their birthday (if you did, you'd be embarrassed), and your heart is so much more special -- why would you give your husband the leftovers of your heart?

A pastor on a Sunday morning t.v. show said, "Our willingness to wait [on God] reveals the value we place on the object we desire." His point was that God wants the very best for us, and taking things into our own hands when we feel He's taking too long will not get us the best.

For those of you who have "messed up" (which consists of just about everyone in this realm), my God is a miracle worker, and healer. He will regenerate the part of your heart that you've lost, if you'll just check yourself into His hospital for the brokenhearted. "God heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds." (Ps. 147:3). It might be sudden healing, it'll probably take time, but He will give you a new heart to give your husband. He will give you His heart.

Lastly, we talked about keeping all guys not related to us at arm's distance, protecting each other, and then "Ewe gross"ed at the thought that we might wind up marrying one of the boys in the Jr. High and teased each other that we'd marry the boy we disliked the most. When we rejoined the other groups, including the boys, my friends had a fun time "freaking out" whenever one of our guy-friends got "too close" -- holding out their arm and exclaiming, "Arm's distance!" One girl even had a rolled-up newspaper or something and waved that around. I was more on the shy and quiet side, so I just kinda stood there and laughed as one or two of the guys would sidle up next to me just to be smacked and shoved away by one of my friends shouting, "Arm's distance! Arm's distance!"

Today, it's my job to protect myself, because no one else can, although we're all still adamant about meeting any potential spouse before any vows are exchanged. But that night will forever be etched into my memory, and a sweet one at that, with a good, solid lesson attached to it.