A Hero for the Heroine, a Heroine for the Hero

"I am slowly falling apart,

I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start

And you might think it's easy being me;

You just stand still, look pretty"

~Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers

"Let a woman learn in silence

with all submission.

And I do not permit a woman

to teach or to have authority over a

man, but to be in silence.

For Adam was formed first, then

Eve.

And Adam was not deceived, but

the woman being deceived, fell into

transgression.

Nevertheless she will be saved

in childbearing if they continue in

faith, love, and holiness, with self-

control."

~1 Timothy 2:11-15

Verses that every woman hates, deep down, even if they stay safe and never say so. Why? Because if these verses are all you ever read in the Bible, this is the picture of God that women get:

1. God likes men better.
2. I'm nothing but a trophy -- I'm there for decoration, to make "my man" look better.
3. Eve is solely responsible for "The Fall".
4. I'm only good to keep around if I do everything and anything I'm told -- oh yeah, and if I raise perfect children.
5. I'm nothing without a man.

"The church has not been a big help here. No, that's not quite

honest enough. The church has been part of the problem. Its message

to women has been primarily 'you are here to serve. That's

why God created you: to serve. In the nursery, in the kitchen, on

the various committees, in your home, in your community.'

~Excerpt from Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge

I can't help but wonder if those verses are in the Bible as a test: Do you trust Me? The Bible says that God is Good, Love, and doesn't show partiality (among many other attributes). So how come I feel like I'm paying for two other persons' sins (Eve's and Adam's), in addition to my own, when I read those verses? When I read those verses, I don't feel beautiful, I don't feel loved, I don't feel even/equal. I feel judged and condemned to Hell.

So, why do I still trust Him? Because I've weighed the evidence, and come to the conclusion that He is Good, He is Love, He is impartial (among many other things :-) ). And if He is Good, Love, and impartial (among many other things), then I can disregard every conception I have when reading 1 Timothy 2:11-15, as lies.

First on the list of evidence, is what the rest of the Bible says -- the other picture painted for us to view:

"Husbands, likewise, dwell with

them with understanding, giving

honor to the wife, as to the weaker

vessel, and as being heirs together

of the grace of life, that your prayers

may not be hindered."

~1 Peter 3:7~

"Husbands, love your wives, just

as Christ also loved the church and

gave Himself for her,

that He might sanctify and

cleanse her with the washing of water

by the word,

that He might present her to

Himself a glorious church, not having

spot or wrinkle or any such

thing, but that she should be holy

and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he

who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

just as the Lord does the church.....

'For this reason a man shall

leave his father and mother and be

joined to his wife, and the two shall

become one flesh.' "

~Ephesians 5:25-29,31

Let me pause there and point out verse 31: "....shall become one flesh." "One flesh" = "one person." So there's the impartiality where a married couple is concerned.

"For you are all sons of God

through faith in Christ Jesus.

For as many of you as were baptized

into Christ have put on Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Greek,

there is neither slave nor free, there

is neither male nor female; for you

are all one in Christ Jesus.

And if you are Christ's, then

you are Abraham's seed, and heirs

according to the promise."

~Galatians 3:26-29~

There it is for single and married alike. This doesn't mean that there are no differences between men and women (news flash, I know), but it means that God is not partial to one or the other (ladies, we're not better than the men, either). And if He is impartial, then even though it is a male (King David) who wrote Psalm 139, it applies to me, as a woman, as well. "How wonderful are Your thoughts to me, O God, and how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You." (v. 17-18).

"I have been crucified with

Christ; it is no longer I who live, but

Christ lives in me; and the life which

I now live in the flesh I live by faith

in the Son of God, who loved me

and gave Himself for me."

~Galatians 2:20~

As for whose sins we pay for, Ezekiel 18 is dedicated completely to this topic, but to sum up: "The soul who sins shall die (the law of sin and death). The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself." But it doesn't stop there! There's even better news! A greater gospel (for men and women):

"For God so loved the world

that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whoever believes in Him should

not perish but have everlasting life.

For God did not send His Son

into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him

might be saved.

He who believes in Him is not

condemned; but he who does not believe

is condemned already, because

he has not believed in the name of

the only begotten Son of God."

"There is therefore now no condemnation

to those who are in

Christ Jesus, who do not walk according

to the flesh, but according

to the Spirit.

For the law of the Spirit of life

in Christ Jesus has made me free

from the law of sin and death."

~Romans 8:1-2~

Are you feeling freer yet?

In addition to ALL this -- look at the most attractive marriage relationships, what do they look like? The man seems a few inches taller and the woman seems to glow! She praises him, and he praises her. They serve each other. They bring out the best in each other. And they also have God has their Center. He's the one who taught them how to love unselfishly, the reason they pressed on through the hardest years of marriage. My favorite part of weddings, in addition to watching the groom's face as his bride first comes into his view and as he watches her coming toward him, is watching the parents' of the bride and groom dance together at the reception. Specifically those parents who have been married for 20+ years.

As evidence that my feelings from 1 Timothy 2 are lies, I think of my parents, who still flirt after 24 years of marriage and raising 8 kids. I think of my friend Lucille, and her husband Dino, married for 48 years, and there's still a spark in the way they interact and look and speak to each other -- adoration and respect, on both ends. I remember my great-grandparents, on my mother's side, both now deceased, still sitting close and holding hands and still looking at each other in that adorable "I love you" sort of way, at 90+ years old.

"Let your fountain be blessed,

And rejoice with the wife of

your youth.

As a loving deer and a graceful

doe,

Let her breasts satisfy you at

all times;

And always be enraptured (intoxicated)

with her love."

~Proverbs 5:18-19~

Then, of course, I see the relationships that happen around me. Whether the relationship lasts or not, look at all the different things men do to win the heart of a woman! 

"There are three things which

are too wonderful for me,

Yes, four which I do not understand;

The way of an eagle in the air,

The way of a serpent on a rock,

The way of a ship in the midst

of the sea,

And the way of a man with a

virgin."

~Proverbs 30:18-19~

"My Mama and Daddy tried to teach me courtesy,

But it never sank in 'til that girl got a hold of me

Now, I'm holding umbrellas, and openin' up doors,

I'm taking out the trash and I'm sweeping my floors.

Crossing my fingers and counting every kiss,

Praying that it keeps going on like this

'Cause I like it, I love it, I want some more of it

I try so hard, I can't rise above it

Don't know what it is 'bout that little gal's lovin'

But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it."

~I Like It, I Love It by Tim McGraw

Lastly, I hold as evidence the movies and songs that most reach my heart when it comes to romance and life with someone else: When You Say You Love Me, You Raise Me Up, My Confession, and So She Dances by Josh Groban; Walking Her Home, by Mark Schultz; Long, Slow Kisses by Trace Adkins; Because You Love Me by Jo Dee Messina, You've Got A Way by Shania Twain, and Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Just to name a few.

I don't know if I'll ever understand just what point Apostle Paul was trying to make when he wrote those words to Timothy; maybe the women in that particular group were disrupting any real teaching or learning from happening, what with women being less educated then men back then, I don't know. But I do know that the lower-than-dirt feeling I get after reading it is grounded only on past misinterpretation and misapplication of those verses, not on truth. Because the truth doesn't bury you six feet under -- the truth sets you free.

So, in conclusion:

1. God made man and woman in His image, and He is not partial to either one. God loves us all with reckless abandon.
2. I sure as anything intend to make my man look good! But it won't be a one-way-street, it won't be as a decoration, and it will certainly not be for lack of any other purpose in life. 
3. In a world without Jesus, Eve pays for Eve's sins, Adam pays for Adam's, and Marie pays for Marie's. But this world is not without Jesus, who gave His life to take the punishment for every sin He never committed, so Adam, and Eve, and me, the ones who did commit them, could have a second chance at everlasting life.
4. "...that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life." I'm saved by grace through faith, I remain saved because of God's grace, and nothing, and no one, can snatch me from His hand.
5. I'm nothing without God. Quite literally, actually. And He's the only one that I can't do without. Having a life partner added in the mix is just a different journey and set of adventures than without. God says I'm special, and worth everything He's gone through to win my life and my heart back, and being single or taken has absolutely nothing to do with it.

She's the kind of girl who makes me smile at nothing

She's the kind of girl who makes me laugh with all her silly faces

That kind of girl who memories are made of

She's that kind of girl

That kind of girl who makes the sun wish that it could shine

That kind of girl who makes a man much better than he was before

She's the kind of girl, oh

She said she will get married in a castle

In late December and I say that should do just fine

'Cause I love the winter

And then we'll chase the sun down

'Til it's dark out

And find our own hideaway, hideaway day

She's the kind of girl who dreams without a reason

She's the kind of girl that with one glance, knows just what I'm thinkin'

That kind of girl who reads without occasion

She's that kind of girl

That kind of girl who's not afraid of danger

She's friendly to a stranger on the street

That kind of girl who'll skip class just for coffee

She sees me like the world could never see

She says she will get older in a big town in California

And I say that should do just fine

'Cause I love the coastline and then we'll chase the sun down

'Til it's dark out

And find our own hideaway, hideaway day

That kind of girl that doesn't need to do her hair

She'll act on any dare

She knows that life's not fair

That kind of girl that lets music do the talking

She dances while she's walking next to me

She says she will be buried in the ocean come whatever

And I say that should do just fine

'Cause I love the water

And then we'll chase the sun down

'Til it's dark out

And find our own hideaway, hideaway day

~Sun Down by Iver