*"Death, She Draws Near"

I'm dying.

Well, we all are, but we live like this life will never end. I cherish very few moments, even good ones. I waste...so much time...for nothing. I make terrible choices because I'm living for the moment, and basically assuming I have all the time I could want.

But whether I die tonight or 70+ years from now...every day is one day closer to that day. Every moment, a moment closer to the end. Sure, this is somewhat bleak stuff, but only because I don't want to think about it, because I know I'm selling myself short, doing things in vain, or sure, I'm afraid of The Unknown.

As a Christian, I'm trusting in the hope of my Savior, looking forward to a better day with no more pain, or sorrow, or tears, and, better yet, finally seeing God and getting to know Him in person. But it's still unknown.

I read a quote in a journal of mine once that said, "Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days it will be." I can't remember who said it, or if it was listed as "Unknown" or "Anonymous", but that quote stopped my heart for a moment. So blunt, it was like being smacked in the face with the truth.

If I knew I only had, say, a week to live....would I be catching up on my latest favorite T.V. show? Would I put my life on hold for someone who may never "come around"? Would I waste time expecting people to fulfill me? Would I hold my tongue when someone I love is being made fun of? Would I worry about money when I can't afford a little treat for myself?

"Vanity! Vanity! All is vanity!" said the wisest man to ever live. He spoke from experience. And in the end, his vain desires destroyed him. Guess that also makes him the greatest fool? If even Solomon could be distracted by the short-term pleasures of this world, what hope is there for the rest of us? Goes to show how easily distracted and short-sighted we are -- I tell ya, it's a sign we were made to bask in the glory of God (Ooh, shiney!) But we settle for less.

Each one of us is dying. Some simply slower than others. I don't know how much time I have left. Could be days, could be years. But I don't want to go while watching some stupid T.V. show. No, I would much rather go out in a blaze of glory.


*(Title courtesy of: Castle, Season 2, Ep. 7)