"I am in the Father, and the Father in Me"

In searching for certain verses, my eyes were opened when I stumbled upon John 14:7-11:

" 'If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.'
Philip said to Him, 'Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us.'
Jesus said to him, 'Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father; so how can you say, "Show us the Father"? Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me, or else believe Me for the sake of the works themselves.' "

You know how a lot of adults with children say, "I swore I'd never say/do such and such to my children, but now I find myself saying/doing the same things my parents did."? And you know the saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"? When you are constantly around someone, you begin to act like each other in certain ways. Sometimes you pick up on their quirks, their habits, sometimes you begin to talk or sound like them, etc. You can often say about someone, "If you want to know what this person is like, get to know so-and-so." Even more than that, parent and child share DNA. There is something from each parent in the child, and therefore something from the child in each of the parents. They are literally in each other. They often have the same habits, expressions, characteristics, etc. In movies, when a main character's parent has died, it is often said to that main character, "I see so much of your father/mother in you." Therefore, to know the child is to know the parent, as Jesus was telling His disciples in this section. Therefore, to know Jesus is to know God. And as Jesus says in John 14:1, "...you believe in God, believe also in Me."

When Sadness Comes to Call

I find peace that surpasses understanding
HOPE that does not disappoint
Grace that knows no bounds
Faith that's strong enough to move mountains
And Love that endures forever
through whatever.

Sometimes feelings suck. Because they can make you believe stupid stuff, like something's wrong with you if you're alone. Satan get lost! There is victory in the Lord! I will overcome all things, God is supreme. No matter what happens, His will shall be done, and there's nothing I can do to stop that. Whatever direction He takes me, I know it will be full.

Sometimes I don't feel like living anymore. I just get tired of it. Being an emotional person is crazy tiring, what with both allowing myself to feel at times, and then fighting off certain feelings at other times. And then other times I don't want to stop living. I beg the Lord for another day! I pray that I don't die at least until He has used me to save someone's eternal life. I know it's not me doing the saving, it is Him through me, using me. "I just said the right thing at the right time." is pretty much what it is because He said not to worry, in due time we would be given what we should speak.

Sometimes I feel extremely lonely and it makes me feel sick. I'd do "anything" to change that. Other times...sometimes a lot of the time, I'd rather be alone, because it hurts too much to care about being with anyone who's not God, and being with God is the only thing that really matters anyway. He's the most amazing lover anyone could ever ask for. It still hurts because they're not here anymore, but God is my life, no one else, and it's ok. It's more than ok!

Sometimes I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't want to care, and why should I? This person doesn't care, why should I? Haha, but in the end I'm just kidding myself if I think I can pull that one off. God made me to care. Not to care too much, like about things that really don't matter, but feeling is a part of me. I just need the wisdom to know when a feeling is necessary or not, which I am learning. And, when it comes down to it, I'd like to not become a robot.

I am loved. By the Creator. INDEFINATELY. Yippee! At least something's constant and for certain. :-)

Love's the only voice that's heard

Finding peace, even in uncertain circumstances or when God's words no longer seem to make sense. Knowing everything will be ok even when you're the only single among your group of friends, or someone close to you is going through a hard time emotionally, physically or spiritually. Running to God before anyone else, knowing He knows exactly how to handle your reaction to circumstances. Learning not to react to every little thing that happens: slow down and don't ride right up on someone's butt in traffic; be patient even when there's slow pokes in front and on either side of you stubbornly keeping you from passing; seeing pictures, information, or whatever that is one of the last things you wanted to see or hear. Knowing that God is in control, and not only that, but He loves you more than you do, He is more just than you are, He hates abuse, misconduct, injustice -- more than you do and He is doing a much better job at ruling the world than you or I ever could.

These things can be hard, but they are necessary. Above all: remembering that He is God! Whether you feel like you've caught Him doing something wrong, or that He isn't doing anything at all, remember that He can do no wrong and He is always doing something.

Peace is what I was fighting for earlier today. I saw one of those "last things I wanted to see" 's today. And, me being the overly dramatic emotional freight train that I am, I spent a workout and then some trying to come to grips and peace about it in my heart. I thought about calling someone, texting someone...something, but I didn't. I knew I had to deal with it first. I struggled between reacting and knowing. My emotional mess of a heart panicked at how this new information could "ruin everything" (as dramatic hearts always cry). Guilt lay on my heart and it slunk into a corner insisting it would never revive and it would surely die that day. My mind said, "Pull yourself together! Where's your faith? This is not nearly over and you have no idea what will happen in the days to come. Maybe you did 'ruin everything'. Maybe God took His promise away from you. Maybe He didn't. But mark His words His will shall be done and there's nothing you can do about it." My mind knew, from past experience, that He will always be true, and that no matter what happens, no matter where the future takes me He will be there - with me.

James 4:7-10

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Beautiful Surprise

Maybe no one ever told you
Was anybody there to hold you
I can see you’ve lost your confidence
But from where I stand you’re perfect that makes no sense

I tell you you’re amazing
And I tell you that you’re fine
But you just look at me and say I’m blind

If you could see yourself through my eyes
Oh baby, if you only knew
What you have inside
If you could look beyond the illusions in your mind
Baby you would find
A beautiful surprise

You’ve got a special way about you
Don’t ever let nobody doubt you
You are so incredible
And I want you to know
That it’s time to see you’re wonderful and just let go

Yeah I’ll tell you you’re amazing
And I’ll tell you that you’re fine
Don’t you know that you’re one of a kind

If you could see yourself through my eyes
Oh baby, if you only knew
What you have inside
If you could look beyond the illusions in your mind
Baby you would find
A beautiful surprise

I’ll remind you who you are
‘Cause in my eyes you are a star
There is nothing quite as bright
As when you’re shining!
Underneath those foolish lies
Is a beautiful surprise!

Hm...this sounds amazingly familiar...

Yesterday is a promise received

Last night something amazing happened.

Sara invited me to join her women's accountability group. They meet at Starbuck's in Leesburg on Wednesday nights around 8:30pm. Tonight was the first time I had joined them.

While we were talking I looked behind Leslie at a woman sitting by herself in one of those comfy chairs. Brow furrowed, her lips moved. I wondered if she was praying. Then I saw her turn a page and realized she was reading. I sat up straighter to see the book, and noticed that it was a Bible. I suddenly had a thought, and began rummaging through my backpack, looking for something specific. Finally, I found it: one of those "pass-along" cards from Christian Bookstore. It was bright yellow with a smiley face on it, and big letters at the bottom that said, "This smile is for you." and in smaller letters below that, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice." (a verse in Philipians). I let the three ladies with me in on what I was thinking, and whether I should write something on it or just give it to her. We decided to just give it to her. So I got up, walked over, and placed it on her Bible. "This is for you." She looked up (before that she hadn't acknowledged me), and somewhat surprised but pleased, she smiled and said, "Thanks."

I walked back to our table, just 5 feet away, and reclaimed my seat. The woman read the card, and then looked up, I could tell she had something to say. We gave her our attention and, to our amazement she lifted her Bible slightly and said, "I'm reading in Philipians." We were all like, "Wow, that's so cool!"

We managed to continue our talking, and then later, as she was leaving, she stopped by our table and asked what church we went to. We told her, she told us where she goes, and she mentioned that she's been feeling lead to change churches - just that God wants her somewhere else. She said she was thinking about going to Joshua Harris' church in MD, Covenant Bible or something like that (I could be waaay off), and mentioned that their worship leader was formerly part of the group Glad. So, naturally, I had to mention that, "Oh that's cool. Our worship leader was part of that group, too!" Come to find out, she was planning on calling him soon to get his opinion on some things, see if he could help her out because she knew the people in Glad back when they were still a group.

We waved goodbye and said maybe we'd see her if she ever visited RBC or happened to be at Starbuck's at the same time again. In all the excitement, we almost forgot to get her name. But as she was walking away I called out to her. Vickie. I must remember that for if we ever see her again. I'm so glad God used us to encourage her.