When Sadness Comes to Call

I find peace that surpasses understanding
HOPE that does not disappoint
Grace that knows no bounds
Faith that's strong enough to move mountains
And Love that endures forever
through whatever.

Sometimes feelings suck. Because they can make you believe stupid stuff, like something's wrong with you if you're alone. Satan get lost! There is victory in the Lord! I will overcome all things, God is supreme. No matter what happens, His will shall be done, and there's nothing I can do to stop that. Whatever direction He takes me, I know it will be full.

Sometimes I don't feel like living anymore. I just get tired of it. Being an emotional person is crazy tiring, what with both allowing myself to feel at times, and then fighting off certain feelings at other times. And then other times I don't want to stop living. I beg the Lord for another day! I pray that I don't die at least until He has used me to save someone's eternal life. I know it's not me doing the saving, it is Him through me, using me. "I just said the right thing at the right time." is pretty much what it is because He said not to worry, in due time we would be given what we should speak.

Sometimes I feel extremely lonely and it makes me feel sick. I'd do "anything" to change that. Other times...sometimes a lot of the time, I'd rather be alone, because it hurts too much to care about being with anyone who's not God, and being with God is the only thing that really matters anyway. He's the most amazing lover anyone could ever ask for. It still hurts because they're not here anymore, but God is my life, no one else, and it's ok. It's more than ok!

Sometimes I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't want to care, and why should I? This person doesn't care, why should I? Haha, but in the end I'm just kidding myself if I think I can pull that one off. God made me to care. Not to care too much, like about things that really don't matter, but feeling is a part of me. I just need the wisdom to know when a feeling is necessary or not, which I am learning. And, when it comes down to it, I'd like to not become a robot.

I am loved. By the Creator. INDEFINATELY. Yippee! At least something's constant and for certain. :-)