You Raise Me Up

...to more than I can be.

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,

for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my weaknesses

That the power of God may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in weakness, in reproaches,

in needs, in persecutions, in distresses for Christs' sake.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

~2 Corinthians 12:9,10

Indeed. And I am in that time right now. I knew this time would come -- Satan's not going to just sit around and let me remain content in the Lord. Though God stays his hand at times to give me rest, He will continue to let the devil test me -- because He knows that His grace is sufficient for me to make it through.

For the past few days I've been feeling extremely lonely -- suddenly separated from everyone I once felt connected to. It partially has something to do with working so closely with a friend who now has a boyfriend and talks about him, talks to him, and is just overall happier than even she thought she would be. But I am so happy for her, and it's fun watching her glow :-). That and I haven't felt like I really belong anywhere right now. Like, my time is so evenly split between places that it's like I just don't belong anymore. It's also been hard to really find quiet times. I'm gonna really try and make it a point to indulge in those more, because they are such a blessing and resting place for my soul.

It also has to do with feeling like this waiting won't ever change. I've been waiting, waiting, waiting because there's nothing else I really can do. I've tried running away, tried pretending that God had just changed His mind. That didn't work, the only thing that did was take me farther away from my only constant Companion. I keep looking for things to do, but I don't want to do something out of God's will and make things worse than they already are. I can't see how things will ever change, but I know God is powerful enough, He has a will and He has a way, and I'm not to try and take over His job of running the world.

God, I want to leave my worries in the bag -- which is to say: in Your hands. I believe that You are strong enough, I believe that You are powerful enough to make Your prophecy come true, I will not take it back into my own hands. May I love You with all my heart, soul, and mind.

~Love,

Me.

Speaking of the devil,

Look who just walked in.

He knows just where to find me,

Here we go again.

I can tell he's gonna ask me to dance,

But that's not as far as he wants to go.

I need ten thousand angels

To help me tell him, "No!"

Lead me not into temptation,

Father help me to be strong.

I can fight all that I'm feeling,

But I can't do it alone;

Help me break this spell that I'm under

Guide my feet and hold me tight.

I need ten thousand angels

Watching over me tonight.

It's time to face my weakness,

Look him in the eye.

Lord, You know it won't be easy,

But I've just gotta try.

I can't let myself get lost in his arms,

That's how I got my heart broke before;

I need ten thousand angels

To walk me out the door

Lead me not into temptation,

Father, help me to be strong.

I can't fight all that I'm feeling,

But I can't do it alone.

Help me break this spell that I'm under,

Guide my feet and hold me tight,

I need ten thousand angels

Watching over me tonight.

-Ten Thousand Angels by Mindy McCready