It really happens

I'm going to be an aunt.

Layla Grace.

It's hard to believe that such words can be so bitterly-sweet. Though one day, I pray, they will turn into something more sweetly-bitter. Because there will always, every now and again, be that knowledge that things should've been different. But more so there will be the acknowledgment that this is how it is, and God will make this something beautiful, and that it's up to us whether we make it into a blessing or a curse. So with that knowledge:

I'm going to be an aunt! Weeeird...

You know, my defenses and resolve almost got knocked over with that news. Having children out of wed-lock seems to be a family tradition. Two of my dad's cousin's, two of my own cousins, and now my younger sister. So far I am the only female of Nana's granddaughters that will have made it out of the teen years a virgin. But I won't give in...I can't. If I don't fight for this...I might as well not fight for anything. If I'm going to give in when all of them have already...it would be continuing a legacy that never should've started. I have to show the last two younger girls that it can be done. That it's not a tradition that needs to continue. I can break it.

How is it that I'm the one still standing for this? I mean, I don't regret it, and I'm not sorry for it, and I praise God for it. Because it's by His grace I still stand...because if they all fell...who's to say I'm any stronger? Because of God's grace I am and shall stay strong.

Trey, you're not alone. I struggle, too. I know it can be hard...is hard. I know how you feel. But we can do it, you can do it.

"The Lord is my strength and my salvation, of whom shall I be afraid?"