Life goes on?
Life hates me, therefore it goes on...and on...and on andonandonandon.
*sighs* No, I don't hate everything that much. In fact I've got nothing I should complain about.
But I just found out that I'm not taking any classes this semester. I thought I was. I was actually excited to start. I gave my mom the names of the three classes I wanted to take and thought she had signed me up for them -- just like she did in the past. I found out today that she didn't, that I had to sign myself up, I had to talk to a counselor -- I said, "I only wanted to take three classes!" She said I had to find out how many classes I was allowed to take without taking a speech class. I didn't know any of this! Nothing was ever mentioned to me! How was I supposed to know? She was the one who signed me up for the ASL classes I took, I never had to talk to a counelor, I wasn't going for a degree, I didn't know they required you to take a speech class if you took a certain number of classes, why in the world did she suppose I did? And now it's too late! Classes have already started. I'm never going to learn Italian, or any other language for that matter, because I finally get around to taking them it doesn't work out and nobody will teach me, and I don't want to bug people about it! The one time I'm actually looking forward to taking classes and it doesn't work out. I don't want to wait a whole 'nuther semester! I wanted to start now, and I was finally able to! I don't want to wait anymore -- it's already gonna take me years to learn any language! Why does it have to take a whole 'nuther semester?!
I don't want to keep trying. I hate getting my hopes up, I hate getting really excited about anything because when I do it doesn't work out, and then it hurts and I hate my life. At least when I just go day-by-day without many expectations my life is enjoyable. I'm not ready to grow up, I'm not ready to take care of myself, I'm not ready for all this responsibility with money, and time, and priorities.
I feel abandoned by everybody.
posted by Marie @ 8/20/2006 05:30:00 PM
1 Comments:
*growls fiercely* Marie! Don't give up! I have been learning that a lot of times you hafta ask a lot of questions and go places and do things even if you're not sure it's right. An' I bloody hate it, but if you don't then you find out later you should have. You're just lucky 'cause you don't get in trouble for making a mistake. Practice being confident even if you don't feel it. I don't suppose it helps any, but remember there are people who are even more shy than you and who would get severely punished for making that kind of mistake. Bear up! You can do it, don't worry. With a will, pal!
Your friend,
Ani
aka
Cadet 4th Class Anthony Lorenzini
Cadet Squadron 11 "Rebeleven"
United States Air Force Academy
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home