Life goes on

My siblings left summer camp this morning. It's the strangest, almost a sad feeling to be the one left behind. This is my first year not attending RBC's summer camp. I hope I can go as a leader next year, but money's kind of short right now, and every hour I don't work I don't get paid. I feel lonely right now, the fact that I'm home instead of counting people at Sr. High youth group just reminds me that I'm not going. You know, right now that's probably the worst part of my life right now, trying to be an adult and working full time for little pay and paying off a wonderful car so I'm home from summer camp this year. God has greatly blessed me, and I know He'll lead me on in the years to come.

I wish so much that I were on my way to the camp with the rest of the youth group and leaders, but when I think about it, I wonder if I would be able to praise God the same because it makes me angry that they have forbidden us to worship the way we have been, because they didn't like the music. So I guess it's better that I'm not going this year because I don't want that to fester throughout the week, every morning and evening being reminded of it and ruining it for myself and for God. I don't think it's right to judge someone's worship by the instruments or beat that are used or whether you are dancing or standing still, raising your hands or letting them fall at your sides. But it's not right to hate someone or bitter towards someone for wronging someone with that judgement either, especially not a fellow brother or sister in Christ. After all, the Bible says that if you hate your brother you are liar if you say you love God, and I want to love God. Even if it means changing my attitude and heart towards those I don't agree with. Hehe, this'll take a while, or a miracle, because my mind wants to declare that I'm right and they're wrong in a self-righteous manner and that...yeah, that would just be using the very judgement I disagree with in return.