Amazing. You know how in one of the past entries I mentioned how my boss had said, "God led me to this man, He led me to that place."? And how it was basically a horrible situation and all that and not something you'd automatically link to God's leading? Well, today at the Sr. High church service they spoke on God bringing us to hard times and taking us through them and how we need them and all that. And I had just spoken to Sue about what happened with Justin, and she had said, well, first of all she assured me that she didn't think less of me, couldn't think less of me, and also that God would use the situation to make me stronger. Hehe, and the last song I listened to before leaving to visit my Becka at work today was Life Goes On by LeAnne Rimes. And now I'm like, God knew I'd make one bad decision and knew that that would bring me to a place I was too weak to walk away from. He knew. And after I had told Sue about how disappointed in myself I was and how I wondered if I could've changed the relationship so that it hadn't gone that direction; and after I had finished shedding my tears for the week, I started talking about the good things about Justin, and when I do, I see all the amazingly good things the Lord has made come about that I honestly don't think would've come about if things had gone any differently. I think I've gone over all those things already, and it still stands. Justin is an amazing person who simply has a lot of problems not unlike everyone other human being I know. Like Sue for me, I do not -- cannot think less of him. God brought me to him, to that situation, and has taken me through it and has made amazing things happen because of it. "He makes all things turn out for the good of those who love Him." And through it I have also been shown how much I lean on my own understanding. Yes, I was too weak to walk away like the Lord asked me to -- there was no way I could do such a thing! But God was strong enough to walk me away, if only I had trusted in Him to be my strength. But I think I'm learning. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

You sucked me in and played my mind

Just like a toy you were crank and wind

Baby, I would give 'til you wore it out

You left me lying in a pool of doubt

If you're still thinking you're the Daddy Mac

You should've known better but you didn't and I can't go back

Oh, life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong

It's a fact, once you get on board say, "Good-bye" 'cause you can't go back

Oh, it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right,

Where I'm at, it's my life before me and this feeling that I can't go back

Wish I knew then what I know now

You held all the cards and sold me out

Baby, shame on you if you fooled me once

Shame on me if you fool me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack,

I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oh, life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong

It's a fact, once you get on board say, "Good-bye" 'cause you can't go back

Oh, it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right

Where I'm at, it's my life before me and this feeling that I can't go back

Baby, shame on you if you fooled me once

Shame on me if you fool me twice

You've been a pretty hard case to crack

I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oh, life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong

It's a fact, once you get on board say, "Good-bye" 'cause you can't go back

Oh, it's a fight, and I really wana get it right

Where I'm at, it's my life before me and this feeling that I can't go back

No, I can't go back